Chords

My hands aren't pressing the piano keys
the way I want them to.
Sometimes, I can get a melody out of them.
Even less often, there is a delicate moment
in which
I stop thinking about letters and patterns
more letters and more patterns...
and hear the chain of beauty that my timid fingers created.
But not right now.

My eyes aren't seeing myself
the way I want them to.
They play tricks on me,
tricks on my emotions.

My mind isn't answering the dry, repetitive SAT questions
the way I want it to.
The answers spin around me in circles as I drift away from letters and numbers
more letters and more numbers..
Maybe some things should stay unsolved by letters and numbers.
Stop solving things, stop giving me answers.
I want to be in limbo, leave me here.